IT’S DIFFICULT TO MEET SOMEONE WHO HAS nominated himself ‘the UK’s number one sales motivator and achievement coach’ without a degree of scepticism, but sitting across the table from Paul Elliot, he’s certainly a walking advertisement for whatever it is he does. Relaxed, oozing self-confidence and fueled with enthusiasm, his gung-ho rhetoric is almost too good to be true: ‘I have the best job in the world, I have the best life in the world, I’ve got the most gorgeous daughter and I’ve got the woman of my dreams, ‘he tells me with a smile. He says he wakes up giggling’. Wow! Sounds great. But what exactly does this dream job – and the life it funds – involve?
Well Paul Elliot is a new breed of motivational coach, a self-confessed showman who specializes in breaking down the psychological barriers to success in business and in life. Offering bespoke coaching in everything from leadership development to sales team turnaround, his clients range from individual entrepreneurs and SMEs to large corporates like Vodafone UK and Fisher Scientific. And when he’s not helping businesses get the best from their staff, Paul takes his show on the road and brings the magic to the masses. His party piece is the inimitable ‘Awakening’ session – a free seminar, open to anyone, in which, like management’s answer to Paul McKenna, he unlocks potential by the roomful, ‘awakening inside of you the inspiration, the ambition and the resolve to achieve want you’ve always yearned for.’
But rewind ten years and Paul was sad, single and struggling to stave off bankruptcy – a far cry from today’s picture of contentment. So cynics, cast your doubts aside, for Paul Elliot is living proof of his own mantra: that the only thing that’s ever between you and your dreams is yourself.
Born in 1965 and brought up in Manchester, Paul was a strong-willed and outspoken child who excelled at school – if only in the subjects that interested him. From an early age he was fascinated by money and determined to have lots of his own one day. ‘I remember as a kid, my Dad telling me “people like us don’t become millionaires,” recalls Paul. ‘I said: “I don’t want to believe that .“
After graduating from Birmingham University, Paul embarked on a short-lived career in IT. But after being asked to leave his third job in as many years – ‘I was probably very arrogant, and could be a bit disparaging of other people’s work’ – Paul abandoned computing and left the UK to go travelling.
Waking up down under
It was in Australia that he had his ‘eureka’ moment. ‘I met a guy who was teaching people how to read very quickly, not just basic speed-reading but reading at 25,000 words a minute.’ Paul was instantly captivated. ‘He told me it was all in the power of the mind,’ he recalls. ‘I’d always had an interest in that area, in psychology, so I was fascinated with what he was saying. I said, how did you learn all this? And he told me about something called NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Paul was so intrigued that he bought every book he could find on the subject and, when he got back to London, picked up a book by US guru Anthony Robbins. ‘Suddenly, I was inspired. I realized, this is what I want to do with my life,’ explains Paul. ‘The idea of working with people lit me up like a Christmas tree. So I was reading this book going, ‘this is it, I’ve got to learn this stuff and get out there and start working with people.’ I’m quite a spiritual person, and if there is such a thing as a calling this was it, this was wjat I was meant to do.
Typically, Paul threw himself in 110%. He went to every NLP event going, attended a seven-day NLP programme followed by a masters programme. Although he found many events ‘boring’, he found the theories fascinating. Then brimming with knowledge and fuelled by a desire to help people, Paul decided to start his own business, just like that, and rented an office in London’s west end. All admirable stuff but a little short sighted – he had no clients and no money and everything was paid for on hois credit card.
‘I sat in my tiny little rabbit hutch of an office with an Apple Mac computer because I thought Apple were rebels, and I am a rebel, looked at the phone – a fantastic phone with all those lights and everything – and waited for it to ring. How naïve was I? I knew nothing about business, nothing at all,’ he recalls. Finally, after twiddling his thumbs for months, Paul had to concede defeat. As well as being broke, he’d begun to realize that NLP wasn’t the catch-all solution he thought it was. ‘I started to discover where NLP didn’t work, in the sense that what I’d been taught in theory and putting it into practice were two very different things. This ominous beginning was the best learning experience for me because it forced me to rip it all apart and start again,’ he says with a laugh. ‘I was sat in this office thinking “Jesus”, what sort of entrepreneur am I?’ But he didn’t dwell for long. He got rid of the office and started working from home, with a clear head. ‘I thought, right, I’ve got to do something about it, because the one thing I really enjoyed, or that was the most important thing at that time from NLP, was behavioural modeling – the ability to sit down with someone, get inside their head and understand how they got the results they got. So that’s what I started doing.’
His set of criteria was to meet people who had made over a million and were ‘having fun’. He networked like crazy and harangued people into meeting him, to the point where he would turn up on their doorstep and plead with them for just 90 minutes of their time, and then grilled them about how they had got to the top. Common themes soon emerged: ‘There was most definitely a passion for what they were doing, there was a massive belief that they could do it, they all set out with a goal, they all had a dream and there was very much this idea that when they set the goal that was it. They knew it was a done deal, no doubt, no worries, no fears.’
Dream Weaver
Brimming with his newfound knowledge, he felt compelled to ‘spread the message’. ‘I wanted to tell people that you can live the life you’ve always dreamed of. That was my message, it was like, look I can show you I knew I was on the right path. I was pursuing a dream and I knew I was going to make it, and that’s what I wanted to get across to people, don’t let fear get in the way.’
Paul started to seek out anywhere people gathered and started giving talks ‘to anyone who would listen ‘. He also joined Toast Masters, so he could improve his ability to speak from a platform. Eventually, his persistence paid off: he landed his first coaching contract with an insurance company in the city. Before long, his trademark ‘Awakening’ events were commanding crowds of up to 200people, drawn to his promise to ‘rewire your psychology – unleash your success’, all absolutely free of charge. Sounds like a bargain but what actually goes on at these events? ‘I use a lot of psychology, a bit of hypnosis as well as my own insights to identify the emotions, the beliefs, the values and the identity issues that are limiting people’s success,’ explains Paul. ‘For example, you might find what is holding someone back is a fear of rejection or failure. This is a typical emotional barrier. Or perhaps they worry that career success would mean spending less time with their family – which is common conflict of values. Then I help design new emotions, beliefs, values and identities – ones that will support them in achieving the results they want. It’s like waking people up and saying, “look, don’t let fear get in the way, it doesn’t matter what age you are, it doesn’t matter where you are in life, whatever you want to do, you can do it, and I can show you the way.” There’s also a chance to fire walk, break through a wood block, etc. ‘They’re great metaphors.’ Paul explains. ‘If you do a fire walk, it’s the first step that’s important. It could be a hundred feet of hot coals, it makes no difference, only that first step really matters. It’s eing the best It is about giving yourself the opportunity to break through a fear.’
As someone regularly called upon to engage and re-motivate disillusioned managers, Paul has developed a tried and tested formula for reviving dormant career ambitions. ‘The first step’, he explains, ‘is to write down the dreams you had when you were five, ten and a teenager. See if you can spot common themes, such as wanting to help people, to be famous, etc. Then ask, “How could I bring those themes into my career now?” If you wanted to help people, could you find ways to coach your team at a level that leaves you feeling you’ve done something worthwhile? If you wanted to be famous, think of ways you could raise your profile in your industry – speak at conferences perhaps, become an author.’
According to Paul, the key to success in any field is to define a ‘compelling future.’ Once you begin remembering what really inspires you, then you’ll begin remembering that the one common desire all humans share – managers, directors,everyone – is a compelling future,’ explains Paul. ‘And once this realization hits you, you’ll want to make time to design your future. Once you design it, you’ll want to plan it. Once you pursue it, you’ll find ways to achieve it,’ he says with utmost confidence. But what about managers who don’t have time to sit and think about their ‘compelling future’? The next time you have to visit the toilet to sit down, take these questions with you. It’s the perfect time to think about your answers,’ he says, in his typically down-to-earth manner.
Towards a fearless future
As I glance at my watch, I realize we’ve been talking for almost two hours. As I start to make noises about trains, Paul asks me the question I’ve been quietly dreading – about my own career. Immediately, I find myself falling into the trap of ‘oh, I don’t really know what I want….’. Paul steps in: ‘So, you want to be a Pulitzer-prize-winning journalist, then?’ I struggle to answer and finally understand what he’s been talking about. It’s only the fear of not actually being the best that stops me from trying to be the best – and this realization certainly feels like an important first step.
Paul tells me he’s a great believer in writing things down, and that my next step should be to buy a hardback notebook in which to record all my ambitions. ‘People start a new year saying, OK, New year’s Day, I’m going to get in shape or make more money or change my career, and by the next week they’ve forgotten all about it. But at least writing it down is a beginning. Then, the second thing you should do is look at it every day. One of the things that works so well for me to this day is a dream board, where you literally get a piece of card and write down all your dreams and aspirations with a picture of you in the middle of it. The first time he did this, he explains, he drew a diagram of all the things he wanted to achieve in five years and set his alarm five times a day to look at the picture and shout: ‘I am living the life of my dreams’. It sounds a little over the top to me, I’m not sure I could bring myself to shout at a piece of paper… But he continues: ‘that was the most powerful thing I’ve ever done in terms of developing the ability to focus – I saw that if you can focus single-mindedly on something you’ll have it. Because if you’re single-minded, doubts can’t get in…’
That’s the beginning thing about Paul Elliot. Every time you think he’s a bit OTT and your doubts start to creep in, he comes up with a really compelling case – more often than not with himself as an example. And even when he says that he’s going to be as rich as Bill Gates, there’s a bit of me that wouldn’t be that surprised. As I say goodbye to Paul and make my way towards the tube station, I feel an unexpected surge of optimism and start to head for WHSmith, just to have a look, of course, at their hardback notebooks…!
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